hormones and sleep deprivation

Sometimes it takes a lot to make me cry, and other times it doesn't take much. I cried for a good solid ten minutes last night while watching the finale of House. It isn't like this is a strange thing for me, I am a person, sad things make me sad, and if they are sad enough they make me cry.

It tends to take a lot of shit going wrong to make me cry, usually it involves things like getting kicked out of my house, or being stalked. Sometimes I'll cry if I'm particularly lonely. Sometimes music makes me cry, however that tends to be a good sort of crying. I am a rather emotional person, but I tend to express it in other ways.

I am feeling sad tonight, and really I don't know why. I had a strange day at work, but I had a great afternoon and evening hanging out with the kids from the steel band, Don and Thom, and yet I was sad by the time I got home. I am going to have to blame this on hormones, because really, that is what this is all about. Normally I have pretty good control over these sorts of things, but tonight...not so much. I'm pretty sure it also has a lot to do with the fact that I am overly tired.

The whole point of this really is to explain how amazingly happy one little phone call made me tonight. Knowing that you care enough to call to see why I am feeling sad made me cry, but a wonderfully happy sort of cry. I know that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it is true.
You make me so happy, I just don't know how to tell you that without coming off sounding cheesy or something...

Thank you Thom.

happiness

I tend to define myself by the fact that I do a lot of things, all at the same time. I like to be busy all of the time. Summer time for those of us on an academic calendar is right around the corner, and things have slowed down. Most of the activities i do all the time are finishing up for the school year and i have found myself with a lot more free time. It is an interesting thing to find, and it is starting to make me think about myself and the way I function as a person.

The last 8 months have honestly flown by, my life has changed a lot, and I think I have changed a lot over this period of time. Certain dates during this time have great importance to me which I feel like exploring. September 3rd, 2007 brought the end of a very long chapter of my life. I didn't know what to do with myself, and I became unsure of how to define myself. October 15th brought a hugely life changing decision when I bought my first house. February 12th was one of the happiest days I can remember, even if the way things happened weren't as planned. Some things happened in January and February that made me feel like I was completely insane...but things worked out in the end.

I guess what I am getting at is that I am happy. I am happy with my life and the way I am choosing to live it. I am happy with the things I am doing, the friends i have, the opportunities I have taken. I am playing pan all the time, I am a part of Apocalypso, I have absolutely amazing friends, I am dating an amazing guy, I am doing the things I want to do, I am making jewelry again, I have a garden, I got into grad school, and I have a pretty awesome job. Life isn't perfect, I'm not perfect, and things are not always good and happy, but for the first time in a good long while I am finally truly happy with the way things are right now.

I'm not really sure what it is that is making me feel like expressing all of this right now, but i am just going to go with it because I can. I have a lot of things I want to do, a lot things I want to see. I have a lot of things to work on, but I am happy to work on them! You make me happy, and I think you know who you are. I want you to know that.

Challenge, Wrap-Up

I have to say, this really was a fun challenge to participate in. Day 7 of the challenge consisted of a free lunch at the Westward Look Resort. I had a turkey club with fries...mmm! Dinner that night was one of our typical "get together and come up with something interesting" meals, which ended up as curry turkey burgers with salad and corn. It was awesome!

This challenge certainly was a great way to use up some things i had lying around the kitchen and try different things with the food that I had. I also found myself eating rather healthy meals, and in general since i wasn't hitting up the snack machines, or heading into town for lunch during work. It also helped me work on my perpetual inability to remember to eat all of the leftovers...

I have had a lot of fun and am now planning to work toward eating more of what i already have rather than heading out to the store every time I am hungry. Hope you've had fun watching me play along!

Challenge, Day 6

No photo or video today...and this one will be rather short...

Time Lost Designs had its very first craft show appearance this morning at the Staff Advisory Council Craft Showcase on the University of Arizona Mall. It was a wonderfully fun day and rather successful actually! This meant lunch was rather late today since i spent a good chunk of the morning and early afternoon at the University selling stuff!

Lunch consisted yet again of leftover corn soup and some of the bread from earlier in the week that is getting a little bit stale... However...I cheated a little tonight at dinner. A very good friend of mine is moving to Seattle tomorrow morning...and we all took him and his wife (another very good friend) out to our favorite friday night dinner haunt...so I ended up paying some for dinner...however it is hard to say if i paid for my dinner...or other dinners...I did buy Thom dinner...that much I do know.

Even though I did have dinner out tonight, and did pay for some of it...I have been rather good this week, and it has been a really good exercise for me...and rather fun!

Tomorrow is an Apocalypso gig at a local resort...which means free lunch! Excellent!

Challenge, Day 5

Thursday nights...they tend to have a bit of a routine which typically involves "new food". As we typically do on these nights Thom, Cy and i got together after various rehearsals to have dinner and watch Lost. Unfortunately my DVR and Cy's DVR both decided to be evil...mine didn't record at all, and hers only caught the first half of Lost. Cy and I (Time Lost Designs) were also preparing for our very first craft show tomorrow at the University of Arizona!

Dinner was Chipotle, a chicken burrito for me...and a chicken burrito for Thom. It isn't cheating because Cy provided payment for our foods...so there.

Lunch today is depicted above. I had intended to pack some more corn soup for lunch...however I failed at it and had to eat what I had left at work...which consisted of a package of oatmeal and two english muffins with some peanut butter. I also got two free brownies. yum!

Tomorrow we get to spend about four hours out in the sun, selling our jewelry...which means lunch will be late but at this point i have no idea what it will consist of... I'm sure I'll find something...

Day Four

Challenge, Day Four from buildababe on Vimeo.

I thought I would be getting home at a decent time tonight, however I ended up hanging out with Thom and Mik for some Space Adventuring! It was very exciting to get to meet and hang out with Mik!

Today lunch consisted of more leftover corn soup and an english muffin with extra crunchy peanut butter. It was a windy and rather crazy day which kept me from having lunch until about 2pm, but I managed to find some trail mix at work to snack on in the morning.

I got home late today however I felt like making something different for dinner. I tend to have lots of nearly empty boxes/packages of pasta of various types in the kitchen at any given time. I have a very bad habit of not finishing a box and forgetting about it when I am at the store...and then coming home with more. This is a great way to get rid of some of the small amounts I have lying around. I also tend to buy cheese just about each time I go to the store so that was also a perfect thing to add to the mix.

Last day of work for the week tomorrow...so glad I stocked up on diet coke...otherwise i wouldn't have survived this long...